Holly Days

Ok-so that's not a picture of holly....sue me.

It's also been in the 60's for the past week...so you know---not exactly a "typical" Christmas--though I guess a "typical" Christmas here would include :

- trees falling in the living room
- someone almost lopping a digit off while cooking
- cats climbing the tree and nearly getting electrocuted
- massive eggnog consumption followed by cursing as waistline increases five-stone
- massive cookie consumption followed by cursing as waistline increases five-more-stone
- decorations being hung on every available nook, cranny, wall and crevice until house bursts with Christmas cheer...no I literally mean BURSTS...

All kidding aside-I'm really excited about this year. We're breaking with tradition. I think our family has held onto alot of tradition, some really fun ones, but some just seem like less tradition and more habit.
When is it time to put aside habit and start new traditions? I think when we realized that panic, depression, and discontent were the 3 side effects of the holidays, we knew it was time for a change. I've seen alot of change within our little family this year. So many things I thought were clad in stone that would NEVER change are abruptly shifting--and I think for the better. Who knows, by next Christmas we MAY have peace on earth.

All I know is, even though we're not perfect, a little baby named Jesus came a couple thousand+ years ago, who grew up and taught us how to love one another perfectly--and we'll always kind of suck at it--but the thing is, at least I see some improvement. And in this family, when I see that perfect love, every now and again--it make me feel like someday there is going to be peace---like someday we're going to be ok.
And I know that Jesus is with us every day, even when we're cursing the tree falling over...he's probably cracking up and just urging us to try hanging the ornaments on the other side so the crooked branches won't show.....haha

It's not the holidays, 'til someone gets hurt...

I'm visiting at my mom's and as per usual, my mom and sister are arguing...
I love them both immensely, but sometimes I'd like to knock both their blocks together. They have been back and forth for the past hour with no winner. I am half tempted to walk out there and throw the bitey cat into the mix just to see what that would do...ALL that estrogen...hahaha
wow
c'mon guys, can we Puh-lease remember what this season is about? *slaps forehead* oh wait, in our house, Christmas is ALWAYS about fighting, overspending and freaking out....
SOOOO let the games begin!
I fully intend to buy a boxing ring this year and just let them have a go at each other--that way at LEAST they might be sporting, and there'd be no hitting below the belt...

I'm DOOOOOOONE!!!!

So how fun has THIS week been ?
so i had my last final today and had to study and write papers (3 of them---which my teacher gave us one buggering weeks notice about.....lovely) and I've had a neck spasm from the freakish weather we've been having...so I took a muscle relaxer and some painkillers because neither was really helping on their own.
Well--doncha know---suddenly they kicked in together and I was loopy off my arse...so helpful for trying to memorize info on....haha
yeah---by 3:00 in the AM I was drinking kool-aid from the pitcher and had gone thru a whole bag of cheetos, a box of Good N Plentys, and a bunch of sourpatch kids....
I had also managed to write all 3 papers AND paint 2 random and very trippy paintings---at the time, I was mesmerized by how uh....LOUD the colors were......but now they look a bit...bizzare---good times...
I need to ALWAYS study last minute and hepped up on painkillers....I think it should be a requirement....
ugh---I am now incredibly exhausted, (actually falling asleep in chair at work "you wanted your password reset to.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....I mean---sorrry...")
and oddly, I feel a bit sick--
do you think it was something I ate?

Inspiration from Kelly :)

Thanks from Kelly--who got me this at the beach--she told me to decorate it, which I did like months ago, and have only just now got around to posting it for her to see ;) oops...
well--the good news of that is, it's because I was totally inspired by it today after the worst day ever.
So thank you again for the extra shot of courage--somedays I feel a bit like Piglet....on a very blustery day---tossed to and fro...
"Oh d-d-d-d-d-dear..."

How do you spell STRESS???!! &*@&%@

Ok....I needed a quick break from working on my final projects for school.....
I have made the coooooolest video animation (which I will be uploading to YouTube soon-I'm not proud at all....) and I have also ALMOST completed the webpage for my jewelry..notice the word almost in large text---this is because Adobe GoLive is giving me a rather large pain in my arse and my screen is not large enough to accomodate the 25 windows I have open right now....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!
remind self---only 1 full week, and a day left.....
think happy thoughts....raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens (ACHOOOOO!)
no-scratch that--how about taking a ginormous sledgehammer to this piece of crap and chucking the notion of a decent grade....I'm not holding my breath....
I just want this semester to be OVER!!!!

Back to the "status quo"

I'm finally back to normal--whatever that is...I have a car and I am feeling a bit more like myself...I think I'm relaxing because classes will be over soon---and I gave my presentation yesterday and I didn't die....lol
I still have to take my Art History final, but I'm reallllllly trying not to think about it.

The only REAL hassle is work, but to be honest, as awful as it is, as long as me and my coworkers can be insane together, we'll be ok :)
(misery DOES love company after all--right?)

So anyhow--I finally got a picture of the building with the great writing on it---isn't it nifty? I walk past it every day as I walk home from school. It reminds me why I keep going--besides giving glory to God, I am dedicated to Art, what can I say.....I know I'm a broken record...

Are ya'll sick of Art-talk yet?

The right track:

"When I saw I was under attack from all sides, I knew I was on the right
track."

--Man Ray
Photographer

Somehow...this puts things into perspective.

thinking too much...

I apologize for the scattered…deep…gloomy—weirdness….I got to thinking today at work….(always dangerous) and just wrote in a stream of thought (I know it’s stream of consciousness---but I like stream of thought better…)
So anyhooo—I started thinking about how art makes us remember and helps us heal—and well……blah…
Is it possible that I am so troubled with my experience with art right now because the part of my brain which is now required to operate in order to create works of art, and maintain that level of creativity is also the part of my brain which controls memories, be they pleasant or painful---frightening or traumatic….
I fear that my dream may also lead to my nightmare…
My hope may be my downfall….
I know that God would not lead me back to this place to leave me alone….
It’s strange that school seems so familiar, yet not if it is the very place that is leading me to tap into my innermost pain….how bizarre and yet amazing….
I almost feel like fleeing…but yet I feel that I cannot because this is my chance to embrace freedom….I wonder if this is what all of the artists of old have faced---the desire to create, and the fear of what they would inevitably unlock….the demons which creating in the right brain would lead them to discover….ironic how when you have been driven mad you are said to not be in your “right mind” but when I am on a tangent, I am almost sure to be in my right brain…..
Is it better to create and be haunted, or to forgo it and lead a peaceful existence? Is that truly peace-or a meaningless existence...

Ok….not too depressing for this festive holiday season….

On the first day of December...

Oy to the World....
It's 68 buggering degrees outside!
I woke up this AM in a sweat, and realized I had left the spaceheater from when it was cold---and now...my room is as hot the 3rd ring of hell.....
Not that I've ever been to the 3rd ring of hell...just sayin, if there is one--it would pretty much feel this hot...
Anyhow...I've been seriously procrastinating this week-what with the car stuff and all that has entailed...I have gotten a wee bit behind in schoolwork...ugh
I need another vacation :)
Thank God it's December--only 17 more days of class 'til winter break!